When all else fails, there's always Joni Mitchell.

Between my compulsory trip to Boston and now, I have begun to find peace in the act of sitting in cafes with my laptop, sipping espresso and enjoying the free wifi. What's happening to me? This cliche seemed obnoxious until I started doing it. Now I feel like it's one of the only ways I can be alone with my thoughts without any outside pressures crushing down on me. Does that sound sad? It's not meant to. I'm not feeling as desperate and harried as I was when I wrote my last post, although life never ceases to be interesting.

I was speaking to a friend recently when I said, "Sometimes I feel like the cosmos are laughing at me." This is mainly because I feel like my life over the last few months has been a huge catastrophe punctuated by an occasional ray of good news. I got a real job. That was fantastic news. And I really like my job! But the news of solid employment fell into the slot between losing my boyfriend and losing my apartment [laughs].

Yesterday was an eventful day. I got screamed at for a solid 20 minutes, was called what might have been every lewd and profane name available to the English language, had my personal belongings hurled  down a stairwell after me, and was threatened to be sued for "everything" I have about four dozen times.

How much is that? About $217?

Anyway, long story short  (and vague - I'm public, here!), I was being horribly mistreated by my roommates, who were a couple (and for all intents and purposes, my landlords). For me, my limit was reached by a needless and frightening confrontation with the guy roommate. And so, instead of paying another $800 to people who were abusing their rights and mine, I generated an escape plan and left. The reaction was priceless and totally scary. But you know what?

Today I might be technically homeless (I'm crashing on someone's living room couch), but a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And at least I know that I won't go home tonight, sneak in the front door in hopes of not being detected, skip eating dinner, and exist with constant tension as I wait for the next needless confrontation or inaccurate accusation about damaging property.

Word for the wise: really take a little time to get to know the people you meet on Craigslist. 

So, what now? I'm single, homeless, and poor. But I have a job, which means that the money will get easier as soon as things get into full swing. And I already have a couple appointments to meet with people for apartment viewings. My biggest criteria when it comes to roommates, knowing more now than I did before?

1. If it's a couple renting out to a female tenant only, it's not for me.
2. Overnight guests - both male and female - must be permitted. Not constantly, but if I have a friend who wants to visit for the weekend from out of town, it needs to be okay. I don't think I should be obligated to live in social isolation because I'm not "allowed" certain privileges.
3. Cleanliness, but not freakish cleanliness. I do not want a roommate who scrubs the kitchen floor with a toothbrush and expects me to do the same, nor do I want a roommate who demands that I vacuum my bedroom floor when it's perfectly clean.
4. As a matter of fact, if it's my bedroom and I'm not damaging it or hoarding dishes or rotting food inside, I don't want to be told to clean it, period. It's mine and I'm paying for it. I keep a neat bedroom, anyway. But the point is that the space is mine to keep as messy or clean as I choose.
5. I need proper documentation for everything. I was so naive last time. Ugh.
6. Give me people who live with me, not lord over me.

I'm so relieved to be out of that mess. God help the next poor sap.

I'll let you know if I get sued. 

[shrugs]

When all else fails, there's always Joni Mitchell.

"Blue, songs are like tattoos

You know I've been to sea before

Crown and anchor me

or let me sail away

Hey Blue, there is a song for you

Ink on a pin

underneath the skin

an empty space to fill in

Well, there's so many sinking now

You've got to keep thinking

you can make it through these waves

Acid, booze, and ass

needles, guns, and grass

Lots of laughs, lots of laughs

Everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go

Well, I don't think so

But I'm gonna take a look around it though

Blue, I love you

Blue, here is a shell for you

Inside you'll hear a sigh

A foggy lullaby

There is your song from me"

Last night, I treated myself to sparkling wine. 

I toasted to me.