Define "UP."

My "adult" life, in review:

• Living in New York City this summer has been like setting up camp in the devil's asshole. 
• I don't like my living situation. The apartment is small and hot, the living dynamic is weird, the utilities are astronomically high, and agreement on the definition of "clean" never seems to be reached.
• I don't have a job. But, oh boy, I'll be damned if I haven't sent out COUNTLESS resumes and cover letters this summer. The fact that nobody responds, even to deny me, is emotionally exhausting.
• The financial well is drying up. I moved to NYC and pissed through $7,000, just to stay floating. My nest egg is almost gone and I have nothing to show for it. This summer has been like the shittiest, most anxiety-inducing vacation ever.
• I am socially isolated. In spite of my best efforts, generating friends in this city has been difficult at best. People, in general, are not open to interaction, and they are definitely not open to building meaningful relationships unless you share a mutual acquaintance. My sister just left for six weeks in Italy and the only person I regularly hang out with just moved back to Israel until Halloween. At least my boyfriend is moving to NYC for the fall semester at NYU, thank god!
• Not. After heated debate as to when he found out and why, it turns out that my boyfriend is not moving to NYC after all. As a matter of fact, he can't start attending college at NYU until January. And actually, he's not my boyfriend anymore. That's right. We broke up. After two years of being attached at the hip.

This obviously isn't working.

This is about the time that Anne called me and said, "I see that you're single." And that's when I unloaded it all on her, long-distance, like an emotional dump truck full of dead fish. And she said, "Maybe you should come to Boston. See friends. Get out of New York for a few days." And after searching for negative excuses as to why I shouldn't, I realized that I didn't have any and that she was right. And so I packed a duffel bag with six days worth of clothes and hopped on the 6 p.m. Lucky Star bus out of Chinatown, without any clear idea of when I'd be coming back. That night, Anne met me in Boston. We went out for dumplings at a local Chinese place, caught up in pajamas, and she spooned with me at four in the morning while I had a minor emotional breakdown. I needed it. I don't allow myself to indulge in those often. 

Today is my second full day in Somerville, MA. The weather here is beautiful. In the sixties, bright, and sunny, with the kind of breeze that always seems to be blowing in the right direction, so that I'm not freezing and my hair isn't sticking to my lip gloss. Anne works a 9 to 5 job, which has worked out well for me. As much as I love seeing her, it's probably good that I also have time to be alone and process in a place that's quieter than the hectic hustle and bustle of New York City. I've been wandering up and down residential streets, sitting on park benches, and drinking coffees. It's been really good for me. I don't want to go back. 

But my mental vacation has a deadline because I got a very important phone call yesterday.

And now I'm back to reality on Saturday afternoon.

Because holy mother of Christ, I got a job. 

That's right. You heard me correctly. 

A real J-O-B. 

With a $30,000 salary and FULL benefits.

As of Monday morning, I will be a full-time production assistant at a health and beauty website company in Manhattan. Am I salivating at the mouth about working in the health and beauty industry? No, but I'm totally okay with it and think I'll do just fine. But ask me if I'm excited about finally having some structure in my life and I'll tell you: Hell, yes. And I am so relieved to have some structure in my life after four months of chaos and fruitless job hunting.

At the moment, I am sitting in a Starbucks in Davis Square, writing this blog entry. There's something about this chain that I find internally abrasive, but when I buy one of their sub-par overpriced coffees, I have unlimited access to their free wifi for the rest of the afternoon. I haven't left this town since I got here, and though I have no desire to venture into the city, I'll be going there to visit my friend, Jay, tomorrow. And the day after that, I'll be off to see my family before heading home. Because New York City is my home now. My wonderful, terrible home that will both entertain me and, ultimately, cause me to go postal or put me into cardiac arrest sometime in my mid-twenties. 

But while I'm waiting for that to happen, I'd like to go up to the counter, ask who the dipshit is who chose the "Love Actually" soundtrack to be today's musical selection, and punch that person in the face. Which reminds me: I should probably rent that movie sometime soon, buy a giant bucket of the chocolatiest-chocolate ice cream available, and cry.

Ah, perfect for making you feel warm, fuzzy,
and suicidal. LOVE this movie.

I guess things are looking... up.